Here

Late Saturday Lunch: Easy Tuna White Bean salad (mostly out of tins!)with local tomatoes & lots of garlicky dressing and crusty Ciabatta.

As Spring is a time of renewal, I'm hoping it is mine too. I've struggled for the last couple of months to summon the energy needed to do the bare basics, let alone be creative or disciplined or even nice. I'm not sure if I've had a bad case of 'Rock Fever' or if it's just hormones, but it's been real enough. Anyway I can feel my mood starting to lift, so things are on the up.

Central to this, I suspect, is that I'm slowly coming to terms with the Virgin Islands being our home. Living here is not one long Tropical Island Paradise Experience, you'll be shocked to know. That's called a holiday. In fact its a hardscrabble kind of place to live, with a fluid culture and community. It's also difficult to work out what 'here' actually is:  The children go to an international school which is culturally neutral - an island within an island. The expat culture can be a bit 'when-we'. Much of the predominant popular culture is depressingly aspirant 'Ghetto' including the fake accents. There are more 'Down Islanders' (about 15,000) than local Tolans (5,000) and this is a backwater so a lot of human flotsam and jetsam washes up on the shores. None of this is easy for a suburban English girl like me.

To try and understand 'here' I've started to read a lot of local history and autobiographies. I'm helping with some building preservation work and we're sourcing local suppliers and skills for the bakery. It's all helping to give me a sense of connection. I'm trying to find some acceptance and grace in it all (including giving up booze for Lent!) and it feels like it is starting to work.

Also helping is a bit of time out: It's a lovely long weekend, so lots of resting, reading and long lunches in our beautiful Carrot Bay eyrie. The bakery is thriving and we have plans which we can now put in place as I'm officially going to be full-time CBI (Chief Biscuit Icer) soon.  It's also back to writing and the blog.  The baby books. The aprons. The landscape projects. The sketchbook. The column. The social committee. The sailing year. Easter. Mangoes. Orchids. etc etc etc.

I think I have energy for it all again.